Sleepless Nights with your Baby

Mothers are lacking sleep - New research by Mother & Baby magazine reveals some shocking statistics. Their survey shows that for the first four months of a newborn's life, mothers are surviving on an average of three-and-a-half hours' sleep a night. Half of those surveyed said that sleeplessness had caused rows with their partners, 13% had nearly broken up because of it and 3% had actually split up. Hardly surprising is the 83% of respondents who said that sheer exhaustion put them off sex.

Which is all rather grim reading, particularly when we look at the amount of sleep our own mothers used to clock up - on average a very healthy six hours.

So why such a massive shift? The report points to an increasing reliance on gadgetry such as baby monitors, breathing sensors, video monitors, mattresses fitted with alarms and suggests that these actually put more pressure on parents because they're less likely to relax. Editor of Mother & Baby, Elena Dalrymple, said: "Just as a watched kettle never boils, so a watched baby never sleeps".

Wake the father! But one of the most disappointing statistics unearthed by the survey is that only 23% of dads wake up when the baby cries. Which means a whopping 76% of dads enjoy blissful slumber while the mother does the hard graft (getting up an average of four times a night the report states).

We all know how difficult it can be to function after a disturbed night's sleep so the cumulative effect of night after night of sleeplessness can be profound. It's hardly surprising that new mums vent their frustration on their partner. And when you consider that many new mums are back in full-time work by the time their baby is six months old, the pressure can be immense.

So what's the solution? Elena says it's essential for "...parents to work as a team so they can get through this difficult time more harmoniously'. Quite. But also for new mums to know that it's OK to admit they're absolutely knackered and to grab any opportunity that comes their way to claw back some of those sleep-starved hours.

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